Batman does a lot of things well: hand-to-hand combat, spelunking, brooding. Here’s something Batman does not do well: vacations.
We’ve been digesting the news that a new Batman is headed our way. Of course, a new Batman begs the question: Just what happened to the old one? Not to worry, says commenter LizTaylorsEarrings. Bruce just needed some me time.
Maybe Bruce just really wanted that week on a private tropical island with bevy of beautiful models and have it not be a lie for once.
He just really wanted a vacation. He didn’t even bring his cell phone, if (another) one of his wards gets injured and/or dies Alfred has the phone number of the Island Butler (Island-Butler’s name is Island-Alfred. Bruce is really expending the minimum amount of brain power here).
He’s laying down on the beach with a cooler of Red Stripes and someone put sunblock on his back but they played a practical joke and he will wake up with “Kick me” sunburned onto his back. He laughs with everyone else. His mind never goes to “My parents would have loved this. IF ONLY THEY WERENT DEAD.”
There’s a great hammock under some Palm trees and he’s not even considering how it could be used to ensnarl henchmen, just how comfy it looks for that afternoon nap he’s planning
He’s finally going to read The Goldfinch.
Later, if he feels up to it and hasn’t drunken his weight in smooth island rum, he might consider going snorkelling. But he’s definitely staying away from that mysterious shipwreck that might have treasure or monsters in it.
He’s on vacation.
He’s on vacation, people.
Submit your further ideas for the continuing adventures of Bruce Wayne, Day Tripper into the comments.
