The world was not prepared for the meta madness that was the first trailer for Disney+’s upcoming Chip n’ Dale: Rescue Rangers “comeback” movie, presumably because it’s coming from Andy Samberg and the Lonely Island crew.
For instance, who could have foreseen a movie that took the stars of the beloved ‘90s Disney afternoon cartoon and paired them with Roger Rabbit, life insurance careers, crippling cheese addictions, and the horrifying Cats from Cats? Now, a new trailer has arrived and a brand new question has been raised: who could have foreseen a Rescue Rangers movie that acknowledged the existence of the Chippendales male dancers, Alvin and the Chipmunks, and oh my god what happened to Disney’s Peter Pan?
I have no words:
It’s just… wow. In what seems to be the events of Hook but in the darkest timeline, the former leader of the Lost Boys seems to have grown up to become a slovenly, sinister crimelord that apparently has ties to a toon abduction ring that has seized Flounder from The Little Mermaid? (I write a lot of weird sentences for io9, but that one may take the cake.) An organization that is presumably also tied to… this:
Guys, those are pieces of cartoon characters severed from those characters and kept in individual bags like trophies in a serial killer’s shrine of victims. It is grisly and bonkers and honestly genuinely unsettling to me. In the best-case scenario, I think, these are pieces of cartoons removed during the “CGI surgery” Dale pointedly mentions in both trailers that were removed from characters that had voluntarily elected to go through the surgery, but the horrified looks of both Chip and Dale indicate it’s something far more sinister. Or it could just be because they’re looking at a giant wall of severed body parts.
The Chip n’ Dale: Rescue Rangers movie arrives on Disney+ on May 20. That’s enough time for one more trailer to come out. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to handle it.
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